Dear Internet,

110966-internet-woes-and-life-goalsI hope you’re well, but we need to chat. I feel like we have such a volatile relationship. Some days I hate you, sometimes I think you’re the toxic poison seeping in and ruining all aspects of my life, some days I need you more than anything else and some days I just flat out can’t help but spend all of my waking hours just rolling from page to page without any sense of control (or regret).

As much as I feel like taking the inspiration of Esther Emery’s ‘Year Without the Internet’ (blog book), I don’t think it would work. But I also am interested in going TV free in our home… as I sit here typing and watching Netflix on my large screen TV….

Internet, I’m in a bit of an unsteady time.

I crave nothing more than a closeness with my husband and kids, screen free and meaningful. I crave a stillness between my heart and God, a pure, distraction free connection. I crave nature, fresh mountain air, paperback books, scratch made everything. I crave realness. Truth. Connection. Meaning.

But…. I also crave creativity. Sharing. Learning. Community that I can take in and be a part of when it’s convenient. I know that everyone having  relationships and community strictly thru a screen is causing damage to our system and being, but- for a homeschooling mom of 3, girl boss, generally crazed and run ragged… being able to take some connectivity in the slots that I have open are my option.

I want to spend more time here, blogging, sharing, connecting with like minded folk. I love that I’ve created a business that is successful and provides for my family… but it no longer is meeting everything for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond thankful- my bride’s are AMAZING and I just couldn’t be happier with the way our story continues to play out. But the road that living in your business leads to just isn’t a path I’m interested in. I don’t believe in it.

I believe in “retiring” young to live a life worth living. I believe in staying far away from the American dream/rat race. I believe in Biblical focus. I believe in pure, natural living. I believe in self sustainability. In community. In support. In not buying into the ‘who’s the most popular’, ‘who’s getting more recognition on social media’ game that consumes so many.

I know you have to bear with me as I tend to ramble and get off track, but this is my letter to you. I want to engage more with your world wide structure, but in a meaningful way. A way that can actually connect me to the true passion/drive vs. eating up my life with obsession and negativity. I want to share our journey, my story, my insight… not because I think any of it is better than anyone else or that it’s anything special… but because it’s fun to share and connect with others.

So here we are. You and me, Internet. I hope that this collection of my ramblings, stories and $0.02 may one day, possibly, lead to something fulfilling and exciting. Until then, it’s me and you and I’ll continue to use it as a place for my passions and interests with the hope of connecting to others of the same. Thank you for that, what a world we live in huh?

Yours truly,

Heidi, a fellow millennial

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